“The Off Season”
Chicago magazine, July 2004
THE CUBS BROKE a lot of hearts last season. They broke mine twice.
It began one summer morning near the start of the baseball season as my wife and I drove to work. I was blathering on about the Detroit Pistons cult hero Ben Wallace and the T-shirts celebrating his massive coif. “Fear the ‘Fro,” the shirts proudly proclaimed.
“I bet the guy who came up with those is rich now. We should do something like that,” I said to my wife, who was doing her usual ignore-Joel-and-read-the-paper-as he-drives-us-to-work shtick. I mumbled a few lame ideas like “Kerry’s Krusaders” and “No Prior Restraint.” More silence. Just when I thought I’d lost her for good, she came out of nowhere with ””What’s that big Korean first baseman’s name? Choi? How about ‘I’m Pro-Choi’?”
I didn’t say anything for a second, stunned at the brilliant simplicity of her idea.
“That’s it,” I said. “That’s our ticket to riches.”
In my mind, I instantly parlayed this simple slogan into hats, a Web site, a Hee Seop Choi fan club, and coundess other lucrative tchotchkes. Choi, the lefty first baseman with the sweet swing, was well on his way to becoming a Wrigley cult hero — an Asian Mark Grace with more power and a tamer social life. I pictured Choi and me singing into a mic together at his favorite karaoke club, both of us wearing goofy grins and “I’m Pro-Choi” hats. This was going to be the next Pet Rock.